|
|||
Sometimes I “rest”. Stopping the obsessive search for new treatments, for researches on breakthroughs in treating Autism. I’m reading books where the word Autism does not appear. In the afternoons I let go (but not very easily) and allow him to wander around without doing anything meaningful. Be with himself without interrupting him. I don’t think I skipped any treatment. Sometimes I worry that a day will come when I will realize that I have exhausted all relevant possibilities and I would not be able to cling on to the thought that there is anything else that might boost his progress.
After I rest, I push myself to start anew the search for new things I was told about or recommended. Things who are promoted by good, experienced professionals. It so happened that we met an acquaintance one evening who asked: “Did you hear about G? She is a very experienced professional and I trust her to be able to give good advice. I can help get to her if you want”. That was a shot of motivation of a different level for me. A dream come true, excitement that only those who pass their time searching for treatment for something so complex and mysterious, would understand.
G is one of those therapists that only those very few with lots of luck get to benefit from her guidance. This Spectrum is almost endless, and so is the range of possible treatments: communication therapy because they must be helped in communicating and putting syllables to words; physiotherapy because their body must be strengthened; psychologists because of the need to fix their mental mess that so many of them are in, because of the difficulties in making sense of the environment; work on strengthening their bodies in the pool; Taekwondo because it teaches about the self and about the other and boosts confidence; music lessons because music is known to broadcast to the brain on different wavelengths, opening new channels in it and teaching it about the body’s rhythm and movement. I can add riding horses for the confidence it promotes, maybe also add medicinal treatment to solve the never-ending anxiety issues, check focus and attention because it is likely that he has issues in that as well, maybe also dog training because the proximity to animals does them a world of good and boosts their confidence. I have not yet mentioned all natural therapies and treatments, acupuncture, cannabis and the many other venues.
The high number of therapists and experts that we meet does not alleviate the feeling of being alone in this journey. We know many good people but cannot hold on to them. When we got to G we were exhausted and even slightly skeptical, in light of our previous experiences, but on the other hand had an expectation for a new direction. On the way to the meeting I tried to set my expectations down so as not to be disappointed. “Don’t forget she is not a magician, she is a professional who, with all her experience, might not be able to help as you want”. I entered the room, looking forward to listen to her and understand how she processes and interprets the information we are bringing with us. I sat at the edge of my seat and did not look away from her face. This time too, as in the past, we had to condense a whole decade of development history to a very short and precious time.
This time I found myself emotionally overwhelmed. My eyes were wet. What is happening to me? After a very long time, I finally felt we are not alone. That there is someone that we can look to, whether she will succeed in causing a dramatic change or only a small improvement. Someone new who can hold our hand, who we can count on to help us get back on our feet, crack something new in the big haze. I know my son very well and already mentioned that I can identify his needs even before he expresses them. This time I felt I have real competition. A new contender that I did not have for a very long time.
