Hanukka Holiday, school is closed but the special-education class keeps a full program throughout the Holiday. The Municipality’s teacher-assistants are late again and the teacher is in class by herself, waiting for help. Three girls from school, not from his class, already wait for him. “What are they doing here?” I ask myself, in the middle of the Holiday when the alternative they have is to sleep late, watch TV, meet with friends.
Three girls who came to school during the Holiday because they want to be with our kids. I am suspicious, not a big believer in miracles (I believe mainly in myself). I repeatedly inquire about this. I ask the teachers, administrators and school principal whether their presence in our class has anything to do with a ‘personal commitment’ or ‘contribution to the community’ curriculum obligation or project, and the answer remains: they are there because they willingly and freely chose to be there, to be with our kids and enjoy them.
I thought of staying with the regular teacher and wait with her for the Municipality’s teacher-assistant who was due to arrive. The closet with all of the class’s equipment and materials was locked, and inside was the daily schedule of the Holiday program. My son asked, as on every morning, to arrange the daily schedule. On my right the teacher is whispering “the key is locked in the closet and I don’t have a reserve key, what do we do?” and on my left my child, who is starting to be stressed-out because we don’t have the schedule and cannot provide him with a response.
A clear schedule which is known in advance is very significant for him and generally for children like him. A new schedule is hung on the wall every morning, and every time a scheduled activity ends, it is marked off and the next one is started. When the child arrives and does not see a clear and orderly schedule he is concerned and is an active party to building one. In the Holiday program, the daily schedule is even more significant because during such time the school is quiet, the other classes are on vacation, the regular daily and weekly routine changes, and in the breaks the small classes are alone. For him, the daily schedule is a familiar and calming element to hold on to.
I see how the stress and anxiety begin to build up in him and he no longer has the capacity to understand why we don’t respond to his requests. He starts walking from side to side, asking again and again to “arrange a schedule” and I… I am frustrated and anticipate his tantrum. I must find a way to calm him down but I am not alone. Around me there are three girls, amazing girls who do not lose their senses. One of them explains, one hugs and the third helps the teacher find a solution to the locked closet. I look at them, at the way they approach him, succeeding to keep him from breaking into a tantrum, promising him that the schedule will be arranged and put on the wall later. And it works! I am smiling as I go out of the class. What other assistance is needed by the teacher, when she already has three such energetic and sensitive girls? They know him so well, his looks, body language, words. They got over their initial fear and embarrassment and learned how to ask questions and understand him. Three girls. Children are extraordinary. They are capable of accepting those different from them, when the adults guide them to it. Both they and their parents let me know on a daily basis how much this special connection contributes to them. From the latest polls published, 90% of the parents said they do not wish for their kids to participate in activities with a handicapped child. It seems they don’t know our kids. They have not discovered them yet. Maybe our kids can help them do that.
