I made peace with my reality, trying to keep my optimism and remember that I need to be thankful for all that there is. And still, every time that a new movie or series comes up which involves children or adults on the autistic spectrum, I find myself in a big conflict whether and when to watch it. Seeing lives of others in the media puts a mirror in front of me which shows things as they are, without making them prettier. Similar to a scales (on which I constantly avoid stepping…) that can get me down even when I am “generous” in adding up the weight of the shoes and jeans I put on when stepping on it. This is the kind of thing I don’t have to do and therefore it is so much simpler to just drop it.
I tried for a long time to finish watching the first episode of ‘Yellow Peppers’. I could not deal with the emotions that quickly arose, so I gave up. I watched the entire series several years after it was broadcast, and when I think about it I am proud of myself for having done so. I even surprised myself when I found a parody sketch based on it called ‘Hot Peppers’ which made me laugh so hard.
After a few years, the series “On the Spectrum” came up and won acclaim in various festivals around the world. I was convinced I am strong enough (relating to my experience with Yellow Peppers) and naturally sat down to watch the first episode when it was on. I still wonder whether the fact that this series deals with adults living in the community and their challenges in coping with it, caused me to meet up close my anxieties regarding his future. When I finished watching the first episode, I took a deep breath and realized I am not strong enough to continue to face my fears of what is coming next.
A few days ago, my daughters went together with their grandmother to watch a new Italian movie – “A Taste of Life”. The movie combines, what else, Italian food (and everyone who knows me well knows I am addicted to pasta and also a little bit to Italy…) and the complex life of people with difficulty in communicating with the world. They came back with enthusiasm and encouraged me to watch it. So I decided to make a brave step and to go. I dragged my husband along and prayed for the best.
That was the first time that I went out of a movie dealing with this subject, encouraged and optimistic. These amazing Italians also know how to tell a story. If I had to summarize what the main characters go through, I would say that the process starts with the indifference and egocentric manner of the normative person (allegedly normative, but I don’t want to do a spoiler), and goes on to a world of giving out of true desire.
This movie is wonderful because it is clean from Hollywood dramatization and therefore effectively conveys the message. I was touched, laughed and convinced. I don’t claim to be a movie critic, but in my mind this movie gives everyone the opportunity for a little taste of the life of other people. I recommend watching it and learning from it about how little it takes to give, in order to make someone else happy and enriched. Enjoy.
