I entered the elevator on my way to a meeting. An elderly couple got in after me, holding hands. They let go when they entered. When we got to the floor, they reached out for each other again in the most natural of ways and stepped out of the elevator together. I caught myself staring at them and not taking my eyes off even after they left. This is something you don’t see every day. It is magical to feel this “togetherness” after so many years. I smiled and also felt a twinge of envy. “Wow”, I thought, “I can only wish myself such a bond between me and my second half for many more years to come, just like them”. Almost right away, seemingly inevitably, I remembered visiting a good friend. A friend with a special child. We sat together and she told me: “Write in your blog about the worry we mothers have for them being in a relationship… look at my son. Who would take such a child to be her couple? You think her parents will encourage such a choice by her? What will happen to him if he will have his wants and longings and will be rejected time and again because of what he is?”. This memory interfered with the magic of that moment.
I remember that my friend’s question came up to bother me again. My boy is still young, very much loved a his school. Loved especially by the girls who treat him as their little prince. He knows they love him and knows how to exploit it, but what will happen when he and the kids around him grow up? What girl will be there to hold his hand? To love him? To take care of him?
From the minute we wake up our thoughts wander to all those places we are supposed to think about. That relate to us, our children, our family and our friends. We the special parents “enjoy”, in addition, also constant thoughts and worries about the child, his progress and his future. These thoughts surface almost everywhere we are. Including in magical moments as the one I had in the elevator. We find it hard to let go and our thoughts wander to our personal difficulties. What if he will not have this in his life?
My child will always be different. He will never meet the criteria of his generation and will not pull in line with everyone else. His prospects of being in a tolerant and accepting society as he has today are not high. But my child is full of love. A child who has dimples when he smiles. Who loves to hug those he feels safe with and who gets into the heart of everyone who encounters him with his laughter and humor. It’s important for me to remain optimistic and to believe that the environment will not be do.
indifferent to his charm. No matter his level of functionality, I must find the good people to take care of him and his friends. People who are guaranteed huge satisfaction when they realize the good they bring to his life. A major part of the thoughts and worries stems from all that’s missing nowadays for the kids who grow up: a supportive environment, lack of suitable places, good professionals, and as important – an understanding and accepting community. All I want is to share our doperiences with you in small bites, so that first you understand. After, you may also do.
